Couples therapy can be highly beneficial for people facing challenges in their married life.
However, for that, both partners should have a common consensus on what the aim of the therapy sessions is. Apart from that, a few important things should be kept in mind for such therapy sessions to be effective. But many couples often seem to forget about such things when visiting their counsellor, which is where this guide can help.
Three Things You’re Forgetting To Do In Couples Counselling
1. Stating Your Feelings Openly
Many people visit a marriage counselling clinic with high expectations regarding the results. But they often forget that any problems between the partners cannot be resolved until and unless they keep things out in the open. It is important to share and discuss your true feelings openly without any secrets for the therapy to be effective.
These feelings often include uncomfortable topics that you might not be willing to discuss. But your partner may not be aware of such issues, and keeping them out in the open is the only way to let them know how you feel. That is why therapy requires overcoming various reservations and can be quite a difficult process.
2. Avoiding Making Absolute Statements
Making absolute statements and using words like ‘never’ and ‘always’ when discussing issues in a counselling session can only worsen the situation. This is because such words subconsciously put your partner into defence mode.
In such situations, the chances of listening to each other’s points of view and discussing things logically are highly reduced. Both partners will likely tend to resort to blaming each other instead of focusing on how to overcome such problems and move forward.
3. Identifying And Understanding Your Individual Relationship Blocks
To get the most out of counselling sessions, it is crucial to understand the things you need to change to make the relationship work.
This means that instead of focusing on the things your partner needs to change, focus on your individual blocks leading to problems. But people find it incredibly hard to identify and accept such obstacles in themselves that are causing problems because it is much easier to find fault with their partner.
However, as marriage counsellors would tell you, relationships only work when each person understands and accepts their shortcomings. This may require additional counselling to understand the issues that need to be worked on.
When going for couples therapy, it is important to understand that resolving the differences in a relationship is a proactive process. This means that most of the work has to be done on your own, and the therapist can only assist where there is a proactive approach by the partners themselves.
If you want to understand how such counselling sessions can help, it is best to book an appointment and speak with the therapist before scheduling regular sessions.